Cat Got Your Tongue
by DragonisNight
Summary: Columbus is an ex-college student stuck in the zombie apocalypse. If that wasn't hard enough, he is also a neko. He joins up with a redneck an a pair of sisters. Can he tell them his secret, or will they shun him like all the others? And why is he so drawn to this zombie killing machine in a cowboy hat and boots? Tallahassee/ Columbus Yaoi slash Sub/neko!Columbus. Might be MPreg,
1. Please Don't Shoot

Hey guys, so I'm taking a break from my other stories. I'm still can update the monthly, but due to my ADHD I need to write other things in between. This is a story that I've had for a while now. I thought it was about time I posted it. Enjoy!

– DN

Disclaimer: I do not own Zombieland or any of the characters. I'm just a super obsessed fan with a computer and a lot of free time.

Chapter 1: Please Don't Shoot

Columbus stared at the TV absentmindedly. There is nothing on. There hadn't been for a while. You see, there had to be people to put out a TV broadcast. About a month ago, Patient X ate a burger contaminated with the virus that caused the plague of 21st century. It spread too fast for a cure to be discovered. For **all** Columbus knew, he was the last human alive. Well, sort of human.

Columbus' mom was 3/4 neko and his father was a half neko. Nekos are cat-like humans with ears and occasionally tails. His parents were an odd case though. Nekos are very skittish and dependent creatures. They need to have someone to look after and take care of them. Because of this, almost all nekos mated themselves with strong human men regardless of their gender. Because his dad was only a halfa, he ended up taking not only a female mate, but a neko one at that. This had only happened one other time in history.

Thankfully, Columbus was a half neko like his father. If he was a skittish as his mother, he would have never been able to go to the college where he resided now. He had managed to get ears like his parents, but unlike his parents, his tail was retractable. It only came out when he wished for it to. Being a neko wasn't easy in the normal world, let alone in Zombieland. He never took off his beanies or his hoods around strangers. Now that the world had gone to hell, he was trapped. He tried to leave, he would surely be killed the moment he left the apartment. That's why he was sitting on the couch in his dorm now.

The sound of his stomach growling broke the silence of the empty room. Columbus sighed and got up from his place on the couch in favor of raiding the cabinets and pantry. His ears drooped in despair. His search had turned up nothing. He had absolutely no food. Not even a crumb. He would've cried out in frustration, but a loud sound from outside made his ears twitch beneath his beanie and his body stiffen. From what he could tell, the sound had come from the ground floor. His heightened senses combined with the silence allowed him to hear a lot farther and better than most humans. There were cries that could only be the undead coming from the same floor. A pack of them must've gotten in! If they got into his dorm, he'd have no way to defend himself. He was so screwed.

Columbus ran to his safe place without the slightest hesitation. He ran to the bathroom, locked the door, then got into the linen closet and closed the door tight. A hand clutched itself onto the front of the hoodie he wore in an attempt to calm his racing heart. Columbus peered through the small slits in the wooden door's shutters. The noises had slowly quieted to nothing. The neko let out a shaky breath and curled into the little nest of blankets that had been made by him so he'd have a place to hide when he was overwhelmed or scared. It had been used often even before the plague. He nuzzled into the comfy blankets and let his eyes shut slowly. The noise may be gone, but he wasn't ready to leave his little safe haven just yet. He was so worn from a small scare that the sound of rustling from the second floor didn't awaken him from his deep sleep.

Columbus was retched from his dreams by the sound of his front door's handle jiggling. Something was trying to get in. His face paled as he heard the telltale crack of the door being broken in. Columbus was beyond terrified by the sound of something going through his dorm. He tried to crawl further into his nest, but accidentally bumped the shelf above him. A box of toiletries fell from the shelf and clattered to the floor of the small closet.

The rustling in the other room stopped. Columbus was shaking horribly. Why did this always happen him? He didn't have a rule to get him out alive this time. All he could do was hide and pray he wasn't found. Apparently whatever gods(if any still existed) weren't listening to his prayers because two seconds later the door knob to the bathroom began to jiggle just as the front door had. The door met the same fate as the last as the lock was broken and the door was smashed inward. The wood's impact shook the walls of the dorm's bathroom. Columbus held a hand over his mouth to silence his breathing and wrapped the other arm around himself in a halfhearted attempt to quell his frantic shaking.

Figure could be seen moving around the room just barely through the slits of the closet door. He could see enough to know that whatever it was had a gun. It having a gun didn't relieve the boy's fears at all. Nowadays, zombies weren't the only cannibals. People were killing each other over a handful of shotgun shells and a bag of goldfish. Who's to say that the thing, if it was even human, wouldn't just shoot him and be done with it. The poor neko went into a fit of silent sobs as the figure began to walk over to his closet. Rule # 22 mocked him in his misery. "When in doubt, know your way out." Well, there was no way out. He now had a new rule to add to the list. Rule #29: If you're able to see them, then there able to see you. The handle twisted and the door flung open. The neko shielded himself with his arms in his curled and prone position as a gun had been immediately aimed at him upon the closet being opened. Columbus couldn't find the courage to look as he shook. A small whimper of a plea managed to be uttered from his trembling lips. "Please… d… don't...s..shoot me."


	2. Neko Not Necro

Here's the next chapter. My updates won't be this extremely fast. I just had to get the next couple chapters up for this to make sense. Enjoy!

– DN

Chapter 2: Neko Not Necro

**Earlier with Tallahassee**

Tallahassee pulled into the building in his black Cadillac. He was itching to kill something and some extra supplies wouldn't hurt. The large building looked promising, so he got a few of his favorite weapons and kick the front door in. Just as he suspected, several zombies ran towards the source of the noise. The first was decapitated by his trusty pair of hedge clippers. The rest of the group were quickly bludgeoned by the skateboard that had been propped up against a wall in the lobby. He tossed the skateboard carelessly to the side and wiped the blood and sludge off his hands on his dirty faded blue jeans. With a satisfied grin, the Southerner began to collect supplies from the rooms and bring them back to his car, slashing a few zombies as he went. That's what he was doing when he approached room 408.

He tried the knob, but the door was locked up tight. This was the first thing that the tall man found odd. All of the other doors he had encountered had been either unlocked, or torn open by a previous attack from the undead. Tallahassee just chose to ignore it and kicked in the door. Again, he was intrigued by how untouched the room looked from the plague. He looked for any sort of weapon that he could use later. Nothing. He soon moved on to tear through the pantry. There wasn't any food anywhere. Yet another oddity on the slowly growing list. His thoughts were interrupted by a small crash from the room at the end of the hall.

Tallahassee pulled a gun from its holster on his thigh and made his way down the hall towards the door. He tried to turn the knob. No luck. The door was locked just like the front door. There had to be something valuable in there if the owner had locked the door. You don't just lock the bathroom and less of course someone was using it, which obviously was not the case. He lifted his foot and swiftly kicked the door.

Tallahassee looked around the room cautiously for the source of the noise he had heard just moments ago. There didn't appear to be any undead in the room. Now his priority was to figure out what was so valuable that it was locked up in here. There was nothing but normal toiletries in the shower and the sink. That's when he saw the closet. Of course! That had to be where it was hidden. He was reaching for the knob, when movement from inside caught his eye. Something was in there. Tallahassee smiled and pulled his gun back from its holster yet again, and trained it on the door. He went for the knob once more and swung it open with enthusiasm. Another kill to add to the day's list. The figure at the bottom of the closet shook violently. "Please...d...don't...s..shoot me."


	3. Pack up or Shut up

Chapter 3: Pack up or Shut up

Tallahassee was shocked to say the least. The thing was human.

"Are you infected or been?"

"N..no I swear."

Tallahassee re-holstered his gun. The smal figure had heard the gun being taken away from his face. He remained in his tight ball though. "God dammit, I'm not gonna shoot ya so stop tryin ta cave-in on yourself." Whoever it was standing at the door of the closet sounded genuine enough. Columbus cautiously sat up. He hugged his knees and finally let his head peek out for the stranger to see. He scanned over the man in front of him. He was a bit odd and rough looking, but Columbus felt himself slowly trusting him. Tallahassee seemed just as shocked as Columbus was the moment he had seen the green eyes and dark curly hair of the college student. It was the kid. He had to be in his early 20s but looked more like he was 18 with his scrawny build.

"So kid, why are you in there?" Columbus frowned. "I'm not a kid. I'm 22," he pouted. Tallahassee rolled his eyes. "That don't answer my question spit fuck." I got scared. That's all there is to it. Let's move on. Hi, my name is –" "No!" Tallahassee cut him off, "No names. Most people nowadays go by where they're going or where they're from. I'm Tallahassee."

"Oh, well then, I guess I'm Columbus. It's nice to meet you Tallahassee." Tallahassee nodded and backed up from the doorway to give the kid some space. Columbus uncurled himself, but stayed in the closet still. "Is there anyone else here?" Columbus shook his head. "When the plague first came out, everyone here packed up and left. I'm the only one who stayed willingly. I haven't left the apartment since then, so I could be wrong." Tallahassee stared off in deep thought. That explain the lack of food. This kid hadn't left the dorm in two months. Chances were that he wouldn't after he left either. Even if the kid chose not to starve and did leave, he'd be eaten in a heartbeat. Tallahassee battled internally for about 10 minutes. Columbus stayed quiet in his closet the whole time. The large southern man finally stopped his pacing and sighed, turning to the boy with a hard set expression.

"Pack up." Columbus looked startled. "Wha...what?" Tallahassee rolled his eyes once more. "I said pack up. Only essentials, you're coming with me. I'm not letting a guilty conscience ruin my fun. And step on it cause I'm in a hurry!" Columbus was going to argue but the look the man gave him quickly shoved those thoughts aside.

Columbus nodded and pulled himself up right from his little safe place. He cautiously ran out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. A small luggage bag was pulled from his closet and was stuffed with a few sets of clothes and a few hoodies. Thankfully, he had grabbed his toothbrush and other toiletries on the way out of the bathroom earlier. Just before he left the room, the neko stopped at his dresser. He packed a few hats and then stilled as he reached the top of said dresser. A heart-shaped locket sat delicately on top of it. Columbus ran his thumb delicately over the smooth surface of the sober piece of jewelry, before tossing it gently over his head to rest lightly on his neck. The locket was just hidden beneath his brown hoodie. He smiled for the first time in weeks and walked into the living room where Tallahassee was sprawled out on the couch. The moment Columbus came into the room, he got up to look at him. "I'm uh...ready to go now."

a/n-you know the drill, please review if you like it. I'll try to update soon after these next few chapters. Thank you guys for supporting me and I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I did writing it.

-DN


	4. Cardio

Chapter 4: Cardio

* * *

a/n-Sorry for the long time without writing. I just started my junior year of high school with all honors/AP classes and it sucks. I promise I'm trying! PLZ DONT HATE ME! Here is the next chapie!

* * *

Tallahassee nodded and headed for the door with Columbus in tow. The larger man opened the door and peeked out both ways. Once he had deemed it safe, he walked out into the hall and motioned for Columbus to follow. Tallahassee began to walk down the hall, stepping over bodies of the dead as he went. "Watch your step."

Columbus nodded and, taking the advice, stepped over a body. He had barely stepped over when he froze in place. he gazed down at the body below him. He dropped to the floor beside it with a weak thump. Tallahassee turned at the noise to find that the boy was kneeling on the ground. He growled in slight annoyance and made his way back over to where the boy sat.

"Come on kid! Trippin' in this world will get you killed. you gotta get back up quickly if ya wanna stay alive."

Columbus' eyes burned. He couldn't help the tears that poured down his face. His body shook softly, riddled with silent sobs. Tallahasseemade his way around the body to face the front of the smaller boy. He stood unmoving at the crying kid clutching the hand of the dead body in front of him. The body had obviously come back as a zombie and had been shot in the head. It appeared to be a girl about Columbus' age hanging half-way out of the door of dorm room 406.

Tallahassee turned his eyes away from the body and back towards Columbus. The boy's cries had died down to whimpers now. That's not what was off setting abut the neko. His eyes looked almost empty as he stared blankly at the body. Tallahassee tried to shake the boy out of his daze. The shake didn't even faze the kid. Tallahassee sighed loudly and, after slinging Columbus' bag over his shoulder, picked the smaller boy up into his arms bridal style. Columbus' head lolled to the side with his eyes still open in that unsettling and unseeing gaze.

"Damn spitfuck, you're a mess.' Tallahassee carried the neko down the stairs and out to his car with ease. If Tallahassee hadn't been worried about his weight, he sure as hell was now. The kid weighed little to nothing.

Tallahassee placed the brunette in the passenger side seat and buckled him in. After tossing his bag in the back seat, the blonde got into the driver seat and started the car. He peeled away from the curb and began the long drive to the next town.

The ride was silent for about an hour before Columbus showed any signs of consciousness. After hitting a large pothole, Columbus seemed to be drawn back into reality. The neko took in his new surroundings cautiously and began to fiddle with his locket subconsciously. He looked at his new traveling companion out of the corner of his eyes.

"Ya knew her/" The sudden voicing from the southern man had startled the poor cat who nodded sullenly. Obviously the older man wanted him to continue, but the neko was unsure. After a tense few minutes, Columbus reached for his locket and pulled it over his head to rest in his palm. A small click came from it as Columbus pressed the button to open it. He held it out for Tallahassee who had pulled over the moment Columbus had spoken

The older man took the locket from the other and brought it close to see its contents. Inside was a picture of a blonde girl, who was obviously the corpse that they had seen earlier , with her arm around Columbus. The pair were both lively and smiling (although Columbus looked a bit nervous still as always). There was also an enscription on the left side in the metal that read:

Have no fear

Go live and be free

Keep this close to your heart

And you'll always have me

-Love Always

H.E.

"Her name was Hannah. She was my neighbor in the dorm rooms. I never get attached to people. I'm afraid to let people get too close. She was my best and only real friend. Not even my parents knew half the stuff she knew about me. She gave me that for my birthday last year. The picture is from the first day we met at the park." Columbus gave a small chuckle and wiped furiously at his watering eyes. "She was overly into poetry and that kind of stuff. She wanted to be a novelist. We were actually supposed to go out the day the outbreak reached our town to celebrate her first publishing . She was supposed too graduate at the end of the end of the month. Her book was going to be released the next day. She was so excited and was begging me to help her write the next one."

Columbus let his head drop and the tears run freely. He let one person into his life, and she was gone. Tallahassee handed back the necklace and shuffled around, searching for something in his pocket. A moment later he pulled out a duck tape wallet.

"Life for me was a small house and my son Buck. His mother begged me to give him to her for one weekend at least. I gave in cause I knew how much nekos' need their families and what not. "Columbus' ears perked up underneath his beanie at the mention of the man's wife being a neko. Maybe he wasn't like the others. Maybe he wouldn't disown him for being a neko like all the other people in his life. Tallahassee handed him the wallet. The picture inside was of a cute, blond haired boy with a huge grin, smiling back at him. He was an absolutely gorgeous little boy with those big baby blue eyes and wild blond hair just like his father. You could tell by the picture alone that the kid was full of nothing but love.

"That weekend, the plague broke out. I managed to fight my way to where my ex-wife lived. When I got inside, Buck was dead. His so-called-mother was chomping on him like he was an entrée. I shot the bitch and I've been living solo ever since." The look on Tallahassee's face was calm, but his eyes told a whole other story. He had really loved his son, and his death had really hurt the southern man.

Columbus had gone as pale as a sheet by the time he handed the wallet back to the redneck. So much for his theory. After that story, how could the man not despise all nekos. Hell, Columbus wanted to hate them, and he was one himself. At that moment he made a vow to never let Tallahassee find out what he really was. Losing a companion now after all of this would devastate him to a point that he may never be able to recover from. He had to keep this secret, ifhe didn't want to be thrown back into the darkness.

a/n-Yay! Another one down. Sorry for the delay. My computer died forever so I had to wait for my new one to come in and it doesn't have word so I can't use my dragon software. I forgot how much it sucks to type! I finally gave some backstories! I always thought 406 should have a bigger part in Z-land. I hope you like my take on how Buck died. That's what I always saw in my mind when Tally talked about him in the movie. Lemme Know whatcha think, leave a review. Thanks again for sticking with me. You guys rock! XD


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